Gig Economy

Crazy food delivery instructions: Customer lives in a cable car

Dartano had seen some strange delivery instructions in his three years of delivering food. This might be the weirdest. The customer lived in one of the cars of a tramway dangling above the earth, part of an old abandoned amusement park:

When you arrive, park near the old ticket booth next to the Ferris wheel; the waving attendant is just a statue. Make your way through the haunted mansion, and be respectful, the ghosts are real now and not fond of jokes. After your spectral stroll, head over to the dry water slide and take a swift descent down; the ghosts seem to appreciate the performance. Following that, walk the rails of the abandoned roller coaster, being cautious of any loose tracks. When you reach the end, take a brave leap towards the cable car station, aiming for the oversized clown shoe as a landing spot. Before climbing, place the food bag securely between your teeth—mind the sauces. Then, begin your ascent up the cable car’s cable. I’ll be waiting at the top in the third cable car to receive the order. Be wary of the occasional carnival tune, it’s probably just the wind, and whatever you do, don’t share your food with the animals or apparitions, especially the pizza-loving raccoon dressed as a ringmaster. Good luck and see you at the top!

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.