Former pro baseball player banned from further sperm donations

Jerry Rescetivit, a former professional baseball player with the Yankees, Marlins and Guardians, has fathered hundreds of children. He was banned from further sperm donation by the President. He has filed an official protest with the US Government which granted him a meeting with President and his advisors.

Rescetivit sat in the waiting room, his palms sweating and his heart pounding as he waited for his name to be called. He had come to Washington as an official protest against the President’s decision to ban him from further sperm donation.

As he sat there, he couldn’t help but think about all the children he had fathered over the years. He had always seen himself as a hero of sorts, helping couples who couldn’t conceive on their own to start a family. But now, he was being treated like a criminal.

When his name was finally called, he stood up and walked into the Oval Office. The President was sitting behind his desk, a stern expression on his face.

“What is it that you want?” the governor asked.

“I want to know why you’ve banned me from donating sperm,” the Rescetivit said. “I’ve helped so many couples over the years. Why are you punishing me?”

The President leaned back in his chair and sighed. “It’s simple. Since you were a talented pro baseball player before your injury, a great many of the children you’ve fathered are also great at baseball. Now that many are adults. professional teams are recruiting them in groups.”

Rescetivit had always known that his children might inherit his athleticism, but he had never considered the consequences of that. He had never thought about the fact that they might all end up pursuing the same career, or that they might end up being exploited for their talents.

“I see,” he said quietly. “But surely that’s not my fault. I can’t control what my children do with their lives.”

“Maybe not,” the President said. “But you can control how many children you father. You’ve already contributed to a situation that has the potential to become a real problem. The Oakland A’s are on the verge of winning a pennant. They’ve been terrible for years! It’s impossible! And it’s all because the entire infield is entirely made up of your kids!”

Rescetivit nodded his head. He didn’t have the nerve to tell the President he was a major investor in the A’s. He stood to make hundreds of millions if the A’s win the World Series. He thanked the President and left the White House, hiding his smile.