Animals

“Get back!” I yelled at the killer whale. He just laughed.

Not to alarm you but Orcas, aka Killer Whales, are attacking and sinking boats of the Iberian coast. And scientists believe they are teaching each other how to do it.

It happened to me. I was in a small day cruiser with friends for a little lunch-time getaway when we were attacked by a speedy group of Orcas. WHAM! One of them hit us from the side.We were taken by surprise and the impact sent us flying off our chairs. I gripped onto the side of the boat as another Orca breached from behind us, smacking its tail against the boat’s stern.

The sound was deafening, and I could feel the vibrations coursing through my body. Panic set in as I saw the other Orcas circling around us, their black and white bodies cutting through the water like torpedoes.

My heart was racing, and I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I knew we had to act fast if we wanted to survive this attack.

I admit I panicked and like a fool I threw a deck chair at the lead Orca. “Get back!” I yelled. I am very sure he just laughed at me. He fell back when another monster hit us again. WHAM!

I must have lost all sense. I lept off the boat onto the Orca’s back. I pounded him with my fist as I rode the back of his huge body. Sure, that’s going to work.

He thrashed and bucked, trying to throw me off, but I held on tight. The other Orcas circled us, their eyes locked on me as I rode their companion. I could hear their high-pitched clicks and whistles, as if they were communicating with each other.

Suddenly, the Orca I was riding dove deep into the water, pulling me down with him. I struggled to hold my breath as we descended into the dark depths of the ocean. My fists pounded against his slick skin, but it was like hitting a wall. Finally, he surfaced, and I gasped for air as we breached the surface.

The other Orcas were still circling us, their clicks and whistles growing louder. I could feel the Orca I was riding start to slow down, and I knew I had to make my move. With all my strength, I pushed myself off his back and swam for the safety of our boat.

I could feel the Orcas chasing me. I kicked as hard as I could. One Orca came up behind and banged into me, sending me flying high into the air and landing on the boat with a crash.

“Hold on!” the captain yelled as he gunned the engines. We gained on them and made it back to the docks. I looked down and my legs and arms were all scraped up and bruised. I felt like I just went ten rounds with Mike Tyson, but I was alive.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.