La Jolla, California used giant speakers playing dogs barking to scare seals off the beaches

Faced with hundreds of seals crowding out local residents on area beaches, La Jolla, California, city officials are using giant loudspeakers playing dog barking sounds to scare the lounging seals back into the ocean. At first, the lifeguards tried shooing the seals back in the water. They just laid there and made screeching sounds. Like the President.

“We’ve been getting a lot of complaints about the seals,” the mayor said. “They’re loud, smell funny and are taking up way too much space on the beach. Reminds me of my freshman dorm.”

The barking dog sounds run constantly except for scheduled breaks that give the dogs time to chew on sticks and eat anything in the house not nailed down. One city official said the speakers would also broadcast surf conditions, general announcements and sale days at Target.

The seals were not scared. One seal explained: “Barking dogs will not work. We don’t care. Try playing Nickelback hits on endless repeat. We’ll be back in the water before you can say ‘Photograph.’”