Letter of Paul to the Hoosiers

I’ve travelled across much of the Midwest of the Americas, lately of the Ohio valley and the Cincinnati Reds. I also enjoyed speaking with the peoples of Cleveland, although they had much to say about the drafting methods of the elders of their sport team the Browns. They complained for a fortnight straight, on which I decided to sneak out and head to Indiana.

Blessed be the Hoosiers, for without the Crossroads of America the people of the United States would be driving to and fro without any knowledge of their whereabouts. It is the middle of the middle. You can’t get more middler than Indiana unless you are a middle child of a middle child in the middle of the state.

Blessed are the basketball tribes of the Hoosierland. They bring great honor upon the Lord, except perhaps when they are down two points with 10 seconds left and their star player just missed two free throws. Then I found it is not unusual to hear the Lord’s name used vociferously by the Hoosier faithful. I tend to overlook this sin for the greater view that basketball is blessed by the Lord for the health benefits of the sport and the wonderful shoes. I’ve worn basketball shoes as I walked the dusty back roads of this wonderful state, with my staff and scrolls, spreading the word of God and enjoying BLT sandwiches supplied by friendly farmers and small town folk alike.

As I travel among the people around the world, I am struck by the God-like qualities of the common folk, the everyday people who make up the majority in every land. Not the elite in New York City and Los Angeles, but the real people who work hard, drink Budweiser holy water, watch Everybody Loves Raymond reruns on the TV set and go to Friday night football contests where the mosquitoes eat them alive.

For these are the people of the Lord. Jesus did not hang with the elders and the money-changers. He was out back of the house working on his three-point distance shot and talking to real people of his day. For his defensive game had doth quickened and neither his earthly father Joseph nor the brothers of Joseph could stop him one-on-one.

For Indiana, I bow my knee in the memory of the most heavenly Father and thank you for your hospitality and the Nike Larry Bird Special Edition shoes. I will stay in contact with my letters and good will, for God knows and keeps Hoosiers close to his heart and high in his estimation. Peace with you.