My ex is like an albatross

My ex-girlfriend is just like an albatross.

·  My ex and an albatross have something in common: they both take forever to settle down.”

·  “An albatross can fly for five years without landing. My ex can’t decide on a restaurant in that time.”

·  “Albatrosses can go years without landing, just like my ex can go years without admitting she’s wrong.”

·  “Did you know an albatross can fly for five years straight? That’s about how long my ex takes to get ready.”

·  “An albatross can last 50 years or more. Coincidentally, that’s how long it feels when my ex tells a story.”

·  “Albatrosses spend the first five years of their lives in the air. My ex spends the first five years of a relationship avoiding commitment.”

·  “If my ex had the stamina of an albatross, she’d probably fly around the mall for five years without buying anything.”

·  “An albatross can fly for years without touching the ground. My ex can talk for hours without touching the point.”

·  “Albatrosses can live for over 50 years. That’s also the amount of time my ex needs to decide what to wear.”

·  “Just like an albatross, my ex has an impressive flight record. She’s been avoiding chores for years!”