New details released about the part that fell off a United flight in the middle of peanut service

In the wake of a shocking incident that left the aviation world reeling, government aviation officials have released a preliminary report on the United plane that suffered a dramatic structural failure mid-flight.

The report centers around Jeff Wrenchit, a seasoned ground technician with over a decade of experience. Wrenchit, known for his dedication and love for aviation, was the lead technician responsible for the maintenance of the aircraft involved in the incident.

According to the report, the piece of fuselage that dislodged mid-flight was actually a patch covering a previously damaged section of the plane. In a surprising revelation, it was disclosed that Wrenchit had secured this patch with a piece of wood, an unconventional and unsafe practice in aircraft maintenance. This piece of wood, it turns out, had sentimental value to Wrenchit, being a leftover from a Soap Box derby car he built with his son.

The airline spokesperson, in a press conference, expressed deep regret over the incident. “The safety of our passengers and crew is our top priority. We are taking this incident very seriously and are committed to ensuring that such an oversight never happens again,” they stated.

The report highlighted that Wrenchit, in a misguided attempt to solve a problem quickly, had forgotten the basic bolt tightening guidance of ‘Lefty Loosy, Righty Tighty.’ This lapse led to the patch becoming loose and eventually giving way during the flight, causing panic among passengers and crew but, fortunately, no injuries.