She broke up with me when she realized she was only on the rebound from a rich guy

“We need to talk,” she said.

For everyone in a relationship the world over, hearing the words “we need to talk” means their life is about to change.

“I’m going to break up with you,” she said.

“But why?” was all I could muster. “Was it the way I cook your eggs in the morning? Because I can watch some YouTube videos!”

“No, it wasn’t the eggs.”

“Was it the way I look at other women when they walk by the table at the restaurant, and I mean LA 9s, not Omaha 9s, even though I awkwardly try to hide it?”

“No, that’s not it.”

“Why then.”

“I realized I’m just on the rebound. You can’t compete with James. He’s rich, attentive and good-looking.”

“Then why are you even her?,” I retorted.

“I’m not,” she said as she walked out the back door, around the building to her car and drove away.

The worst part was the dog trying to get in her car, too.