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Travel Joke: Are You Going to San Diego?

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.

The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.” “I’d be happy to,” said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. “What the heck are you doing here?” he demanded, “I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.”

“Yes, I know you did,” said the blonde, “but we had money left over, so now we’re going to Sea World.”

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Jokes

Jesus Is Watching You

One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rummaged through the desk. He replied, "Who said that?!" Once again he heard the same thing, "Jesus is watching you!" The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was. The parrot replied, "Cornelius." The robber said, "What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!" The parrot said, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus."

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Jokes

Panda Suspect

A Panda walks into a restaurant and orders the special of the day. He eats the food, gets up and shoots the waitress dead. The hostess runs over to the Panda and says, “What did you do that for?”

The Panda says,”Look up ‘Panda” in the dictionary, and you will see…”

And with that, the Panda walked out of the restaurant.

The hostess rushed to a dictionary, looked up ‘Panda’ and read…”Panda, n., mammal, eats shoots and leaves.”

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