Humor Quote: Comedy and Tragedy
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. – Mel
Read MoreJoe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. – Mel
Read MoreLife is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail. – Modern Family
Read MoreIn public speech, as in electricity, there is a positive and negative force. Either you or your audience are going to possess the positive factor. If you assume it you can almost invariably make it yours. If you assume the negative you're sure to be negative. Assuming a virtue or a vice vitalizes it. Summon all your power of self direction, and remember that though your audience is infinitely more important than you, the truth is more important than both of you, because it is eternal. If your mind falters in his leadership the sword will drop from your hands. Your assumption of being able to instruct or lead or inspire a multitude or even a small of people may apall you as being colossal impudence – as indeed it may be; but having once essayed to speak, be courageous. BE courageous – it lies with in you to be what you will. MAKE yourself be calm and confident.
– Dale Carnegie
The Art of Public Speaking
Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it.
Read MoreLarry, everybody steals shrimp. Everybody steals shrimp and lies about it. This is Hollywood!
Read MoreI remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.
Read MoreIf a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
Read MoreTo me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."
Read MoreIf you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.
Read MoreLarry David: [to Cheryl, while they are sitting, waiting for the Dansons to call] They could at least lie to us. You know, call us and lie! We don't want to sit here like schmucks. A lie is a gesture, it's a courtesy, it's a little respect. This is very disrespectful.
– Curb Your Enthusiam
Read MoreLarry David: [to Cheryl, while they are sitting, waiting for the Dansons to call] They could at least lie to us. You know, call us and lie! We don't want to sit here like schmucks. A lie is a gesture, it's a courtesy, it's a little respect. This is very disrespectful.
Entourage
Read MoreYou know my rules, Vince. I only go to the Valley November through March and then only for sushi.
Read MoreIf you’re not cycling between feelings of unearned entitlement followed by terrified self-loathing, then you’re not doing comedy.
-Robert Yasamura
http://twitter.com/teamyasumura
Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
– Oscar Wilde
Read MoreYouth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
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