Tampa Bay Proposes Mixed-Use Stadium Combining Football, Baseball and Catholic Mass

City officials in Tampa Bay, Florida today proposed a new sports complex for football, baseball, special events and Catholic masses.

“The Tampa Bay Rays want a new stadium. The University of South Florida needs a new stadium, and the Tampa Bay Rowdies (soccer team) want a bigger facility,” said the mayor. “This proposal meets all their needs as well as that of the local Catholic diocese.”

Local Catholic church leaders met with the mayor last month, explaining their need for more space for masses, fish fry cookouts, bingo nights, book sale nights, raffles, quilting nights, Bible study sessions and Zumba classes. The new stadium will be open for all interested church-goers in Central Florida to attend mass in the 75,000 seat facility.

“We’ll be installing kneelers in each seat, so people attending mass can kneel in comfort,” the mayor said. “It really is a state of the art facility for communion.”

To help offset the stadium’s steep price, the bishop will be offering sponsorship opportunities to national and local businesses. “We can brand the communion wafer with your business logo,” he said. “We have several companies interested in advertising on the liturgical vestments the priests wear during mass. You can also place your logo on the white collars our priests wear outside of mass.”

City officials launched a contest to name the new stadium. The current leader is, “St. Timothy Sports Stadium and Confessional for the Obviously Guilty.”