Texas Moves Forward on Plan To Raise State 5000 Feet Above Surrounding States

Texas Governor Steve Alamoagain announced today plans to physically raise the state 5000 feet above surrounding states. The governor made the announcement after gaining approval from key decision makers in the state legislature.

“Texas has long been a leader in our region of the country,” said the governor to a packed press room. “Physically raising the state will signify our dominance economically and socially. In addition, the vistas provided by sheer cliffs will promote tourism.”

“It’s another crazy idea out of Austin,” said long-time Texan Smiley E. Whatryouthinkin. “Raising the state 5000 feet will cost billions of dollars and take 100 years. This is worse than California trying to build that high speed rail débâcle. And when we are loonier than California, it’s time to vote them rascals out and put some common sense back in the capital.”