Under Armor Says Employees Can No Longer Put Strip Clubs On Corporate Cards

Under Armor made changes to its corporate expense policy recently that eliminated strip clubs, gambling and limousines from acceptable use of corporate credit cards. The company made the change as part of an ongoing internal campaign to improve the company culture in the MeToo era.

A company spokesperson said, “We’ve also eliminated nude beaches, strip poker, naked surfing, streaking after doing shots of tequila, keg stands, beer bongs, and two-story water pipes as well. With these new restrictions, we believe Armor All will make the workplace a better environment for all.”

Longtime sales rep Chad Shotsonme responded, “I know we have to make some changes, but come on, they took out Jaegermeister. I closed more deals last year after Jaegermeister shots at Spearmint Rhino than the three previous years combined.”