What do you mean Bruce Springsteen is a fraud?

In the early part of his Broadway show, Springsteen lays it out. He says he never had a blue collar job in his life, never worked a 9 to 5 job. Ever.

Gasp!

I’m still surprised at the number of people who think he once worked at at automobile factory putting bumpers on cars.

Don’t worry, you are not alone.

But we should take this time to clear up some other things about his music:

-The screen door never really slammed. It sort of banged softly a couple of times because the spring was stretched out.

-They were never chrome-wheeled, fuel-injected and steppin’ out over the line. Chrome wheels were SUPER expensive and would have been stolen in minutes.

-The night was never dark with a bright sidewalk. The only way this would have been possible if he had a flashlight and was looking for car keys he dropped.

-The circuit wasn’t full of switchblade lovers. You stick a switchblade in a circuit, you are going to short out the whole house.

-He may have left his wife and kids in Baltimore and never went back, but they would have found him easily after he became famous and sued for big money.

-The one-legged man dancing to be free was real, but he wasn’t dancing to be free. He was working on his golf swing.

-It’s true the cops busted Madam Marie, but not for telling fortunes. She was selling weed out of the back of the shop.

-Johnny did try selling his heart to the hard girls on Easy Street, and they negotiated a good deal, but it fell apart when the economy went down.

-Terry never remembered all the movies they’d go see.

-They didn’t learn that much from three-minute records.

-In those days, there wasn’t anywhere near 57 channels. Maybe seven at the most including PBS.

-The bones in your back don’t really make a station of the cross.

-His father’s house actually shone hard like a beacon calling in the night because, well, it was a lighthouse.