What to say if your spouse wants to you to work in the yard the first day the golf course is open in spring

You wait all winter to play on the first day the course is open in spring. You get the tee time. Then you spouse says something like, “I really need you to help me weed the back yard on Saturday!”

Here’s what to say:

• “No problem, hon!” Then tonight dig a tunnel from your garden to the first tee. Disappear on time and you’ll be golfing before you can say Water Ball.
• “Back yard? What back yard? I sold that part of the property years ago to the city for a new water park.”
• “Hell yeah! I love weeding. But first I have to practice with these weeding sticks over at a cow pasture first!”
• “Funny you mention that, I was thinking we are not helping climate change at all by using harsh chemicals. Natural growth is the way!”
• “This is why we had kids, honey. I’m management now, not labor.”