Tech and Science

Wisconsin Poised to Become Next Tech Power Center

Think Silicon Valley has all the techies? Nay, nay. A recent CBRE report indicates Denver and the Midwest as the rising stars in the tech world, with areas like Ohio and Wisconsin posting huge increases in the number of tech workers.

And it is beginning to pay off in new tech products and services. Wisconsin in particular is producing an enviable list of popular apps including;

Cheesehead Hat Locator. It’s two minutes before the big Green Day Packers game. Everything is set up: big screen tv, brats, chips, dip and more dip. Everybody in the neighborhood is over at your house, half of them painted in loyal Green Bay colors. Wait, where’s your dang Cheesehead hat? You need it — we are talking about your LUCKY cheesehead hat, the one you had on when the Packers won the Super Bowl both in 1996 and 2010. Don’t worry. The Cheesehead Hat Locator app finds your hat within 300 yards of your house. Of course, if you lost it when it fell off your head that time last year you had too many Honey Ales from Titletown Brewing Company, well sorry, kid.

Camowear Coordinator. In Wisconsin, camowear goes with everything, as evidenced by Wisconsites wearing it everywhere. The problem is, there are so many types and patterns of camowear: tiger stripes, duck hunter, woodland, raindrop, brushstroke, ERDL general forest green, choco chip, flecktarn, splinter, CADPAT, multicam, Dazzle, and MARPAT. How do you know of your choco chip hoodie will go with your flecktarn runners and duck hunter cargo pants. The Camowear Coordinator app tells you instantly. Just take a picutre in a full length mirror and the app will analyze more than 1,000,000 camo combinations to tell you how to adjust your look. Wow!

Wisconsin to English Translator. This app is a godsend for people from other states (except Minnesota which is close enough that most Minnesotans can understand Wisconsintes without too much trouble). When you are talking to a person from Wisconsin and they say things like “bubblers,” “yous guys,” “cripes,” “yooper,” “ope,” “FIB,” “where-abouts,” or “fleet farm,” the Wisconsin to English Translator app does all the rest. Rest easy because now you can navigate the confusing culture and syntax of Wisconis with ease!

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.