10 signs your New Year’s Resolutions are not going well

I don’t know about you, but I generally avoid New Year’s Resolution until around the end of April. But if you started on time with the New Year, here are some signs things may not be going so well.

Your Gym Clothes Have Filed a Missing Person Report: You bought all that fancy workout gear, but the only running you’ve done is late to work. Your gym clothes are now sending out search parties for you.

Your Diet is Sponsored by Denial and Pizza Deliveries: You vowed to eat healthy, but your fridge is still a VIP lounge for leftover pizza and things that go well with ketchup. The only time you see vegetables is when you accidentally click on the wrong emoji.

Your Savings Plan is an Abstract Concept: You were going to save money, but your bank account still looks like a charity case for lost dollars. The closest you’ve come to saving is when you almost bought something but didn’t because your card was declined.

Your Reading List is Just a Fancy Way to Collect Dust: You planned to read more books, but your reading list is just a decorative pile that you occasionally dust. It’s less of a reading list and more of a “look how intellectual I am” display piece.

Your Meditation App is Now a Zen Reminder of Failure: That meditation app you downloaded is just sitting there, judging you silently. It’s less of a tool for mindfulness and more of a reminder that you’re not as Zen as you thought.

Your Water Intake is Still 90% Coffee: You promised to drink more water, but your main hydration source is still the tears of your overworked coffee machine. The only time you drink water is when you’re tasting it in your coffee.

Your Language Learning App is Now Just a Cultural Decoration: You downloaded a language app, but the only thing you’ve learned is how to say “I don’t speak [insert language here]” in four different languages.