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5 most absurdly nerdtastic Cyber Monday gift ideas

In the spirit of Cyber Monday, let’s dive into the top five gift ideas designed exclusively for the nerd herd of 2023. These gifts are so outrageous, they’re bound to make any self-respecting nerd want them immediately.

1. The Quantum Coffee Mug: Never Empty, Perpetually Cold

First up, the “Quantum Coffee Mug”. This mug, operating on principles that defy basic physics, promises to never be empty. The twist? The coffee is perpetually cold. It’s perfect for the nerd who loves both endless caffeine and quantum mechanics, but has an inexplicable fondness for cold coffee.

2. The Self-Reading Book: For the Overwhelmed Bookworm

Introducing the “Self-Reading Book.” This book is equipped with AI so advanced it reads itself. It’s the ideal gift for the bibliophile who has everything, including a severe lack of time. It’s like buying someone a fish and then also fishing for them.

3. The Infinity USB Drive: Infinite Storage, Zero Compatibility

Behold the “Infinity USB Drive,” boasting infinite storage capacity. The catch? It’s compatible with absolutely no known devices. A truly ironic gift for the tech-savvy nerd in your life who loves to store all of the data in the universe but doesn’t actually need to use any of it.

4. The DIY Robot Kit: Batteries (and Intelligence) Not Included

The “DIY Robot Kit” is next on our list. This kit promises to let you build your own AI companion. However, it comes without batteries or any form of artificial intelligence. It’s perfect for the nerd who appreciates the existential challenge of creating intelligence from a pile of wires and false hopes.

5. The Virtual Reality Vacation: Nowhere, Literally

Finally, the “Virtual Reality Vacation.” This VR set claims to transport you to exotic, non-existent locations. Ever wanted to visit the lost city of Atlantis or a black hole’s event horizon? Now you virtually can’t! Ideal for the nerd who dreams of going places that literally don’t exist.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.