Travel and Places

5 worst car dealerships in Baton Rouge

1. Glitter & Gears Glam Cars At Glitter & Gears, every car is bedazzled to the brim. The lot sparkles under the Louisiana sun, blinding potential buyers. Manager Sparkle McShine insists, “Our cars aren’t just vehicles; they’re rolling disco balls!” Customers, however, are less than thrilled. One remarked, “I just wanted a sedan, but now I’m driving a giant glitter bomb!”

Manager’s Mantra: “Why drive a car when you can drive a masterpiece? Our cars are visible from space!” – Sparkle McShine

2. The Time Travelers’ Lot This dealership specializes in cars from bygone eras, refusing to sell anything made after 1975. The manager, Mr. Retro Wheeler, wears bell-bottoms and insists on paying with vintage cash. “Modern cars lack soul. We’re taking driving back to the good ol’ days!” A customer shared, “I asked for a hybrid, and they showed me a horse and buggy.”

Retro Wheeler’s Wisdom: “Why drive in the present when you can cruise in the past?” – Mr. Retro Wheeler

3. Over-The-Top Off-Roaders If it’s not extreme, it’s not on this lot. Specializing in monster trucks and off-road behemoths, this dealer scoffs at anything that can fit in a standard garage. The manager, Mudflap McGee, boasts, “Our vehicles don’t just conquer roads; they obliterate them!” One bewildered customer said, “I came in for a minivan and left with a truck that needs a ladder to get in.”

Mudflap’s Motto: “If your car can’t crush a smaller car, is it really even a car?” – Mudflap McGee

4. The Mysterious Emporium of Enigmatic Autos This dealership only sells cars at night, by appointment, and under a cloak of mystery. “Each car has a secret, and it’s up to you to uncover it,” whispers the enigmatic manager, Mr. Shadow. One customer reported, “I bought a car, but I can’t find it. The key leads me to a different spot each night!”

Mr. Shadow’s Secret: “Our cars are more than transportation; they’re an adventure, a riddle wrapped in an enigma.” – Mr. Shadow

5. Aquatic Autos Unlimited This unique dealership believes cars should be amphibious. “Why limit yourself to land?” questions the manager, Marina del Wave. They exclusively sell cars fitted with propellers and rudders. “I asked for a car with good mileage, and they showed me one with a periscope,” a confused customer stated.

Marina’s Musings: “In Baton Rouge, with our unpredictable weather, why not drive a car that can also be a boat?” – Marina del Wave

Baton Rouge‘s car dealership scene is as diverse as it is eccentric. Whether you’re in the market for a glittering spectacle, a blast from the past, an off-road giant, a mysterious adventure, or an amphibious escape, these dealerships offer a unique take on the traditional car buying experience.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.