Travel and Places

5 worst dog training centers in Baton Rouge

1. Pawsitively Chaotic Canine Academy At the top of the list is Pawsitively Chaotic Canine Academy. This center is renowned for its unique training method, which involves letting dogs run a mock town complete with tiny cars and traffic lights. The manager, Mr. Rufus Barkley, proudly states, “We believe in absolute freedom. Dogs should learn traffic rules just like us!” Unfortunately, this method has led to numerous dogs developing a penchant for jaywalking.

Customer’s Lament: “I sent my dog to learn basic commands, he came back directing traffic at home!” – Mrs. Jenna Whiskers

2. The Bark-n-Bounce Emporium Known for its trampoline-based training program, The Bark-n-Bounce Emporium claims to improve a dog’s agility and coordination. However, the results are often less than stellar. The manager, Ms. Bouncy Betty, explains, “Bouncing is natural for dogs. It’s how they express joy!” This unusual approach has led to dogs mastering the art of bouncing but forgetting basic commands like ‘sit’ and ‘stay.’

Disgruntled Owner Says: “My dog now bounces non-stop. He bounced right out of our yard last week!” – Mr. Timmy Tumbles

3. The Canine Culinary School Here, dogs are taught to cook! The Canine Culinary School equips dogs with chef hats and tiny aprons, instructing them in the art of making dog-friendly meals. “Cooking enhances their intelligence,” claims the head chef and manager, Chef Waggles. Sadly, most dogs end up eating the ingredients rather than cooking them.

Customer’s Complaint: “My dog tried to fry a sausage and almost set the kitchen on fire!” – Ms. Patty Pan

4. Doggy Dance Revolution At Doggy Dance Revolution, dogs are trained to dance various styles, from ballet to breakdance. The manager, DJ Woofmaster, says, “Dance is the hidden language of the soul, and dogs have souls too!” While the idea is heartwarming, the reality is chaotic, with dogs often stepping on each other’s paws.

Upset Client Remarks: “I wanted a guard dog, not a ballerina. My dog now pirouettes instead of barking at strangers.” – Mr. Fred Footloose

5. The Underwater Woofers This center specializes in aquatic training, teaching dogs to swim and even dive. “Water is a dog’s best friend,” argues the manager, Captain Splash. However, many dogs end up disliking water more than ever, with some refusing even to take baths.

Angry Patron’s Word: “My dog won’t go near water anymore. He runs away at the sight of his water bowl!” – Mrs. Sandy Shores

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.