President taps Pee Wee Herman to lead new Bicycle Army Corps

The President announced today he has enlisted the help of Pee Wee Herman to lead the new Bicycle Army Corps. He spoke to reporters outside the White House earlier today. “Pee Wee is famous for riding his bicycle through the trials and tribulations of his life while maintaining a positive attitude. That’s the kind of leadership I need at the top position of our Bicycle Army Corps. Pee Wee, come over and say a few words.”

“Wow, that’s great,” the President said. “I ran my hands through and sniffed Miss Yvonne’s hair and asked her to join us, but she ran out after stomping on my foot and breaking three toe bones. So that’s a negative, but I’m glad so much of the gang is with us. Godspeed Pee Wee!”

“Thank you, well I just want everyone to know I’m going to try my best, heh-heh. To help me, I’ve enlisted Cowboy Curtis to ride along, although he will be on a horse. And Captain Carl is going to run a naval division — he didn’t want to do it and complained about the whole thing but I think he is going for it now, heh-heh. And Chairy is helping by giving our squad a rest when the battles go for a long time.”