Omaha’s top five cow-related catastrophes

1. The Great Cow Traffic Jam of ’98 It all began on a sunny afternoon when Bessie, a cow with a rebellious streak, decided the grass was indeed greener on the other side – the other side of the highway, that is. Her daring escape from the farm led to an impromptu parade of 50 cows trotting down I-80, causing a traffic jam stretching for miles. Commuters were seen stepping out of their cars, enjoying impromptu picnics, and even joining in a spontaneous line-dance led by Bessie herself.

2. The Udderly Confused Cow in the Convenience Store One chilly morning, a curious cow named Gertrude mistook the automatic doors of a local convenience store for an invitation. She sauntered in, perused the aisles, and caused a milk crisis by drinking all the chocolate milk – her apparent favorite. The store manager, bewildered, could only watch as Gertrude left, leaving a trail of hoof prints and bewildered shoppers in her wake.

3. The Cornfield Cow-nundrum In the fall of 2006, a trio of adventurous bovines embarked on a midnight excursion into a farmer’s prized cornfield. The result? A bizarre crop circle that had local UFO enthusiasts buzzing. The farmer, upon discovering the truth, could only laugh as he explained to the excited crowd that the only aliens responsible were his mischievous cows.

4. The Stealthy Cow Bridge Blockade On a foggy morning, a group of cows decided to play a game of “King of the Hill” on a small country bridge. Their timing was impeccable, coinciding with the local marathon. Runners were met with an unexpected obstacle, turning the race into an impromptu cow hurdling event. It was a day when fitness met farm life, and the cows were declared the unofficial winners.

5. The Barn Dance Disaster Lastly, there was the infamous Barn Dance Disaster of 2010. A local farmer decided to throw a barn dance party, complete with a DJ and disco ball. The cows, feeling the beat, broke into the barn. Their dance moves were so vigorous that they accidentally knocked over a haystack, causing a hilarious hay tornado. The party-goers could do nothing but join in, turning the night into a hoedown that was talked about for years.