Zodiac Forecast: Horoscope of the day – Nov 29, 2023

November 29, 2023 Joe Ditzel

Aries (March 21 – April 19): Today, Aries, you will sneeze with such force that you accidentally launch yourself into low Earth orbit. Pack a sandwich for the trip – space sandwiches are the best, especially with extra mustard.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Taurus, your stubbornness will reach cosmic levels. You’ll become so unmovable that a group of tourists will mistake you for a historical monument. Smile for the cameras!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20): Gemini, expect to wake up with the ability to telepathically communicate with kitchen appliances. Your toaster has some hot gossip, and the fridge is chilly towards the microwave. Drama!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22): Moon-ruled Cancer, you’ll develop a gravitational pull so strong, you’ll start orbiting yourself. It’s a great party trick, just watch out for dizzy spells.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Today, Leo, you’ll roar so impressively that you’ll be elected the honorary king of all cats. Prepare for a parade of felines bearing gifts of yarn and cardboard boxes.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22): Virgo, you’ll become a magnet for lost socks. They’ll travel from near and far to be with you. Consider starting a sock sanctuary.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): Venus is in a playful mood, Libra. You’ll float off the ground every time you laugh today. Handy for reaching high shelves, less handy in serious meetings.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Scorpio, your intensity turns into literal firepower. You’ll be able to toast marshmallows with your fingertips. S’mores party at your place!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Adventurous Sagittarius, you’ll find a secret button in your backyard that, when pressed, turns the whole world into a giant bouncy castle. Jump responsibly!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): Capricorn, you’ll wake up with the ability to time travel, but only to moments when someone is about to make a typo. You’ll become the unsung hero of grammarians everywhere.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Aquarius, your innovative spirit will peak as you invent a new language spoken entirely through interpretive dance. It’ll become a viral sensation, but be prepared for lots of interpretive spam mail.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20): Pisces, you’ll discover you can breathe underwater and talk to sea creatures. The fish have some surprisingly strong opinions on global politics. Who knew?