9 fun things to do in Kansas City this spring weekend

Spring has finally arrived in Kansas City, and with it comes a wave of highly questionable recreational opportunities. Forget about flower festivals and farmer’s markets—here’s your guide to some fun ways to spend a warm spring weekend in KC.

1. Attend the Annual Downtown KC Umbrella Juggling Championship

Join hundreds of spectators at Union Station for Kansas City’s beloved spring sport: competitive umbrella juggling. Participants must keep at least five open umbrellas airborne without poking bystanders or attracting lightning. Past champion Max “Stormy” Pickett notes proudly, “It’s a great test of coordination and courage—especially during tornado warnings.”

2. Visit the Kansas City Museum of Unfinished Art Projects

Spend a culturally enriching afternoon browsing half-knitted scarves, partially painted landscapes, and a series of sculptures vaguely resembling abstract potatoes. Located next to the Westport post office, this unique collection highlights procrastination at its most creative. Founder Anna Lazuli admits, “I meant to finish curating years ago, but… you know.”

3. Join the West Bottoms Mattress Racing Derby

Grab a friend, drag an old mattress out of storage, and glide down Mulberry Street’s steepest slope in KC’s popular annual mattress race. Helmets recommended, pajamas encouraged, dignity optional. Race champion Terry Snugglebottom advises: “Avoid waterbeds—they tend to pop dramatically halfway down.”

4. Experience the Country Club Plaza Pigeon Choir Concert

This seasonal event at the Plaza bandshell showcases the city’s melodious pigeon population performing crowd-pleasing hits like “Coo Are You?” and “I’ll Fly Away (Eventually).” Accompanied by the KC Kazoo Ensemble, conductor Seymour Feathers promises, “It’s mostly cooing, but our pigeons harmonize surprisingly well—usually by accident.”

5. Explore the Kansas City Submarine Tour of Brush Creek

Embark on a leisurely underwater voyage through the depths of Brush Creek aboard the U.S.S. Barbecue. Witness majestic discarded bicycles, rare shopping-cart reefs, and schools of soda cans drifting lazily in the spring current. Captain Gus Gilligan ensures, “We provide snorkeling gear in case of leaks—just kidding. Mostly.”

6. Compete in the Nelson-Atkins Statue Staring Contest

Test your mettle against the famous bronze sculptures at the Nelson-Atkins Museum. Whoever blinks first—human or statue—loses. Last year’s champion, Carl Steely, claims he out-stared the museum’s giant shuttlecocks for seven straight hours. “Those shuttlecocks never saw it coming,” Carl insists proudly.

7. Visit the World’s Smallest Renaissance Festival in Hyde Park

Forget the sprawling grounds and elaborate medieval villages. KC’s mini-Renaissance festival offers precisely one juggler, half a turkey leg (vegetarian), and a single knight wearing cardboard armor. Organizer Lady Penelope L’ilfaire explains, “Budget constraints forced creativity, but hey, parking’s a breeze.”

8. Sign Up for the Kansas City “Wait-in-Line” Festival

For lovers of gentle monotony, nothing beats the Annual Wait-in-Line Festival at Loose Park. Stand patiently in queues that lead nowhere, enjoy line-themed refreshments like lukewarm coffee, and savor entertainment such as “Person Standing Quietly” and the popular “Politely Clearing Your Throat” seminars. Festival regular Brenda Queue enthusiastically notes, “It’s like waiting at the DMV, minus the excitement.”

9. Cheer On the Kansas City Lawnmower Ballet at Swope Park

Finally, revel in the graceful moves of KC’s legendary lawnmower ballet troupe as they pirouette and glide across Swope Park’s freshly cut grass. Critics praise the emotional power of pieces like “Mowzart’s Symphony in Grass Minor” and “Blades of Glory.” Director Sergei Bladikov promises audiences, “You’ve never truly appreciated landscaping until you’ve seen it choreographed.”