The 8 worst hair salons in Memphis
1. Elvis’s Eternal Hairdos
Location: Graceland Heights
Gimmick: Specializing in giving every customer the perfect Elvis pompadour, regardless of their hair type or preference. They use an industrial-strength hairspray that leaves you looking like you’re ready for a Vegas show. The catch? The hairdo is permanent until your next visit, and every appointment includes a mandatory Elvis impersonation contest.
2. Beale Street Braiders & Buzzcuts
Location: Downtown Memphis
Gimmick: This salon offers “musical” haircuts where the stylists use electric clippers that play blues tunes as they work. Unfortunately, the clippers are wildly out of tune and frequently get stuck on high notes, leaving clients with jagged, uneven cuts. Every visit comes with a free harmonica lesson while you wait.
3. Mud Island Mullets & More
Location: Mud Island
Gimmick: Specializing exclusively in mullets, this salon believes every hairstyle should be “business in the front, party in the back.” They offer a “river rinse” where they dunk your head in the Mississippi before styling. The result? A haircut that’s always a little fishy and a whole lot of mullet. They claim the river water adds “character” to your hair.
4. BBQ Bangs & Buns
Location: Midtown
Gimmick: This Memphis salon infuses every hair treatment with BBQ sauce for that signature Memphis flavor. The idea is to give your hair a smoky sheen, but in practice, it just leaves your hair sticky and irresistible to neighborhood dogs. Each haircut comes with a side of coleslaw and a bib.
5. The Pyramid Perm Palace
Location: Near the Memphis Pyramid
Gimmick: Offering “ancient Egyptian” perms that supposedly emulate Cleopatra’s curls. The stylists wrap your hair in linen bandages and claim the “pyramid energy” will set the perfect curls. In reality, customers leave looking like they’ve been through a sandstorm, and the curls are as unpredictable as the Memphis weather. Complimentary pharaoh headdresses are included with each perm.
6. Germantown Glitter & Glue
Location: Germantown
Gimmick: Every hairstyle here is “enhanced” with a thick layer of glitter and a generous application of craft glue to hold it in place. The result? Sparkling, rock-hard hair that sheds glitter everywhere you go. Clients are often mistaken for walking disco balls, and the glue takes weeks to wash out. Each appointment includes a free bedazzling session for your hairbrush.
7. Orange Mound Over-the-Top Trims
Location: Orange Mound
Gimmick: This salon believes in “bigger is better” and uses industrial fans and copious amounts of mousse to create towering hairstyles. Customers leave with hairdos that can’t fit through doorways and are a hazard in high winds. Each cut includes a free can of industrial-strength hairspray to maintain the “volume.”
8. Soulsville Scissor Sorcery
Location: Soulsville
Gimmick: This Memphis hair salon is run by self-proclaimed “hair wizards” who cut hair blindfolded to “feel the magic.” The result is unpredictable and often looks like a wizard’s apprentice got a little too enthusiastic with the shears. Each visit includes a mystical chant and a complimentary potion (just lemonade) to “enhance” your new look.
