The 10 other names Elon workshopped before landing on “America Party”
1. The Mars Party
A no-brainer for Elon, really. Early drafts of the party platform promised: “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Atmospheric Oxygen.” Critics asked how policies would apply to Earth. Elon replied with a GIF of a rocket. When pressed for clarification, he said “Earth is downstream of Mars.” No one knew what that meant.
2. The Free Speech Spaceship
Less a party name and more of a floating libertarian concept orb, this idea reportedly included a built-in plan to replace Congress with Reddit supermods and live-stream every debate with an X (formerly Twitter) “laugh react” button. Bylaws were going to be stored on the blockchain and printed out by Joe Rogan.
3. The Not Woke Party
Polling showed this one played well among Tesla owners who microwave fish in the break room and complain about pronouns. The logo was a bald eagle drinking a Monster energy drink and yelling at its electric bill. Elon dropped it after realizing it was already the unofficial name of five existing Super PACs, three reality shows, and one CrossFit gym in Alabama.
4. The Meme Public
This one almost stuck. A blend of “Republic” and “meme,” it came with a draft Constitution written entirely in Doge captions, and a screenshot of a tweet that said, “laws are cringe.” Elon was reportedly moved to tears by the national anthem: a remix of fart sounds and Spongebob quotes set to dubstep.
5. The Technarchy
A true Elon favorite: a society governed by engineers, futurists, and whichever AI wins the weekly performance review. The first rule: no public decisions can be made without a whiteboard sketch and a confusing acronym. The second rule: Grimes would be Minister of Synthesizer Agriculture. The third rule: no pants, only performance wear.
6. The X-Men (But for Real)
Elon tried to buy the rights from Marvel. They ghosted him. He rebranded it to “The X-Men: A Political Movement” and hired four guys from Burning Man who all legally changed their names to Quantum, Thrust, NovaSteve, and ChadGPT. The party’s platform? “Genetic enhancement by choice, jetpacks by force.”
7. The Uncancellable Party
Aimed squarely at the rich and tweet-happy, this party name tested well with people who believe “accountability culture” is a type of malware. Membership badges were going to be forged from Elon’s old tweets, laminated in NFT lacquer, and worn on lanyards made from defunded NPR tote bags.
8. The Paywall Caucus
Inspired by Elon’s dream of monetizing everything, this party promised a truly freemium democracy. Free tier: you can vote for one city council position. Gold tier: access to livestreams of classified meetings. Diamond tier: direct messages from Mitch McConnell, once a week, mostly about his woodshop projects.
9. The NeuralNation
A brain-chip-powered party. Campaign rallies would include synchronized neural link demos where voters chant slogans via frontal-lobe pulse. Critics worried it resembled Scientology but with more firmware updates. Elon disagreed, stating, “This is more like Dropbox for souls.”
10. The Elontariat
It started as a joke in a group chat but spiraled quickly. The Elontariat would be a vanguard party for the tech-fluent elite, fully replacing both the proletariat and bourgeoisie with mid-level engineers, crypto influencers, and anyone who’s ever bought a flamethrower from a man in a zip-up vest. The official motto? “Vox Algorithm, Vox Dei.”
So in the end, he went with “The America Party” — because nothing says cutting-edge visionary futurist like the name of a community Facebook group in rural Arkansas. But rest assured, he’s already trademarked six of the rejects. He’ll probably use them to name his next child. Or Mars colony. Same difference.
