Slender Man – Movie Review

Slender Man – Movie Review

Slender Man is a fictional character who is a super tall, slender dude wearing a black suit without any facial feautures. Probably would have been great in the NBA. As it is, he is reputed to terrorize the deep backwoods at night, stalking and taking people when they least expect it.

Slender Man, disreputable as this behavior is, gets more internet and mainstream media coverage than most real personalities. His name popped up in Minecraft and other video games, and one game was even named after him. I keep waiting for him to pop up on a commercial for reverse mortgages.

“Slender Man,” the movie, starts Joey King, Jaz Sinclair, Julia Goldani Telles and Annalise Basse. Javier Botet plays the titular character. Botet is 6 foot 6 inches tall, which is closer to Slender Man’s height than 99 percent of the actors in Hollywood.

Slender Man was born in an internet forum in 2009 on a thread challenging users to create paranormal images. How scary is Slender Man himself? Well, enough that he’s been connected to several crimes, including the stabbing of a young girl in Wisconsin. The biggest crime? He’s so skinny, he has to get custom-made suits–nothing off the rack at Macy’s fits.

After internet stories of Slender Man gained traction, of course Hollywood came calling. The original script called for Slender Man to grow up as a skinny kid. School bullies make fun of every day for his gaunt appearance. Which means: you know the movie “Slender Boy” is on the production schedule as soon as the producers read this.

Slender Man graduates high school and attends a graduation party. The kids make fun of him once again, and he goes on a Carrie-like rampage, finally running into the nearby woods where he has lived ever since. There he spends most of his time playing Fortnite, taking breaks to plan his next stalking and abduction.

Rating: Two of four stars.