Crowd Goes Wild For Beto But Not Sure Exactly Why

Beto O’Rourke, the liberal candidate wunderkind down in Texas, is rustling up a Western-sized gale of excitement. He’s getting effusive press in Yahoo News, Rolling Stone, the New York Times, every TV network and more. Young people by the thousands follow him from rally to rally, inspired by his upbeat talk and simple values.

Even though they are not exactly sure who he is.

“I heard he plays bass with the Dead,” said a tie-dyed fan in Dallas. “That right there will get me to follow him around until I run out of money and weed.”

A young woman in Austin said, “I’m not real sure who he is, but these are bigger crowds than the State Fair, and I’m always seen at the cool shows.”

A thirty-something businessman in Houston sported a wrist band that said “Beto or Bust!” “I don’t know if the guy is a singer or a televangelist, to be honest,” he said. “I just know there lots of babes at his shows. Go Beto!”