Dr. Oz Operates on Political Opponent To Prove They Have a “Cold Heart”

Dr. Oz took an extraordinary step in his hotly contested race in Pennsylvania. During a debate featuring Oz and a slate of opponents, the doctor lunged at his primary nemesis and threw the man to the ground. Instantly he produced a scalpel and removed the man’s heart, held it aloft and said, “See, this is a cold, cold heart! I have a warm heart!” At that, he reached inside his chest and removed his own heart.

Holding the two hearts aloft, he said, “My heart continues to beat, showing my care and concern for the people of Pennsylvania. Look at my opponent’s heart. It is so cold it stopped beating. This shows I am your best bet to fight for Pennsylvanians against the liberal elite that is ruining this great state!”