Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems

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Joe Ditzel

How To Overcome A New Year’s Eve Hangover

Dancing Machine. That's what they called you at the New Year's Eve Party. You broke out every move in your arsenal. It was all fun and games until you crashed into the buffet table and took out the prime rib station.

Once again you over-indulged and you have a hangover on New Year's Day. Here are several ways to over come your throbbing headache:

1. Stick your head in the commode and constantly flush the water around your head. Pretend you are on holiday at a water park with your friends. This tip is convenient because you are probably already sitting next to the commode.

2. Sign up for an adventure cruise on a sailboat. Climb the mast. Tie a rope to your feet and dangle from the mast. Let the wind and breeze relax your throbbing temples.

3. Go to the convenience store and take a nap on the bags of party ice. You can also be helpful by handing out bags when customers need them.

4. Go through a car wash with the windows down. Really stick your head in the brush when it comes by and sing a tune. The singing and brushing will soothe your head.

5. Ride your bike real fast with your legs stuck out in front of you while making motorcycle sounds. Pump your wrist like it is a motorcycle accelerator. Stitch a motorcycle gang logo on your back and get some tattoos. By the time you've finished with these tasks the hangover will be gone.

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Joe Ditzel

Public Speaking Quote: Positive and Negative Forces

In public speech, as in electricity, there is a positive and negative force. Either you or your audience are going to possess the positive factor. If you assume it you can almost invariably make it yours. If you assume the negative you're sure to be negative. Assuming a virtue or a vice vitalizes it. Summon all your power of self direction, and remember that though your audience is infinitely more important than you, the truth is more important than both of you, because it is eternal. If your mind falters in his leadership the sword will drop from your hands. Your assumption of being able to instruct or lead or inspire a multitude or even a small of people may apall you as being colossal impudence – as indeed it may be; but having once essayed to speak, be courageous. BE courageous – it lies with in you to be what you will. MAKE yourself be calm and confident.

– Dale Carnegie
The Art of Public Speaking

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