Irish Joke: The Irish Spinster Prayer
Oh, Lord, please have Murphy on me.
Read MoreJoe Ditzel Has Some Problems
Oh, Lord, please have Murphy on me.
Read MoreA blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?” “Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?” “Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.” “I’d be happy to,” said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. “What the heck are you doing here?” he demanded, “I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.”
“Yes, I know you did,” said the blonde, “but we had money left over, so now we’re going to Sea World.”
Read MoreGet ready for it- Paul F. Tompkins is set to take over the world!
Read MoreComedy Central has announced the nominations for the first annual "Comedy Awards", which will air on Sunday, April 10.
Read MoreYou decide to pay cash for your gas. Noting the pump number, you stroll to the cash register. A lady
Read MoreThis letter is one of the all time greats. Short and to the point.
Read MoreBlogger Chuck Miller met a fantastic woman. And things were going great. For awhile.
Read MoreA guy comes home after being away on a business trip for many days. His wife told him the dog
Read MoreJoe Ditzel is your Los Angeles Roastmaster. A member of the Friars Club, Joe learned the roast game from the pros- the guys that started it all.
Don't give another lame gift this year.
Give a roast! Call 213-804-0105 or email direct at [email protected] with your information- person being roasted, date and number of people in the audience. I'll give you a custom quote for the party you will never forget- a Comedy Roast!
Read MoreAn optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the
Read MoreA friend asks his friend for a cigarette. His friend says, "I thought you made a New Year's resolution to
Read MoreGood resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
– Oscar Wilde
Read MoreYouth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
Read MoreReady for next year.
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