Sports

Proposal to Move the 49ers to Des Moines, Iowa Rejected by Team Owners

A proposal to move the 49ers from San Francisco to Des Moines was rejected by team owners. “We have no plans to sell the team or move the team,” a spokesperson said.

The proposal comes from a task force made up of concerned 49er fans in both cities. “The thing is, they are not doing anything to help the team win,” said task force President Jolene Polkanails of Des Moines. “Sometimes you just need a change of scenery. I know I felt a lot better after I moved out of my husband’s house after the divorce and into this double-wide.”

The 49ers are 2-9 in the 2018 season so far, tied in the basement of the NFC West with the Arizona Cardinals.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.