Quinn Ewers cashes in big at Ohio State and I go for the gold

Now that Quinn Ewers, possibly the best high school QB in the country, is officially coming to Ohio State, experts say the new rules allowing student athletes to earn money from their likeness and brand could earn him $1 million in endorsements.

I figure it’s time I relaxed my rules as well.

As a SUPER SENIOR in the School of Hard Knocks, I am offering the following sponsorships. All last one calendar year. Credit cards, Paypal, and Bitcoin accepted.

Hat logo – $250,000

Shirt logo – $175,000

Underwear waistband with my pants pulled down slightly – $550,000

Car wrap – $400,000

Golf balls – $5000

Stage banner during comedy show or speech – $500,000

Social media product positioning – $750,000

Tell my neighbor how cool your product is – $39.75