Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems

Music

Music
Joe Ditzel

How To Become A Rock Superstar After Age 50

Rock superstardom is just a few steps away for you- even after age 50. We do recommend, however that you not wait until 70 to begin the steps.

 

1. Musical ability is not a pre-requisite but you do need a cool band name. If you are having trouble just combine an animal with a crazy emotion like 'Wolverine Anger.'

 

2. As the lead singer you also need a cool name. Your best bet is to find a single word name: "Ipecac" or "Subscription" are probably good ones.

 

3. You must practice your rock star moves with a microphone. This can be done in your living room or the back yard.

 

4. You need an international hit to break your band. You do not need to write a new song. Just combine beats from established hits and riffs from any old Yardbirds album. If you are sued you can say you are waiting on Medicare approval for your St. John's Wort and forgot that stealing was illegal.

 

5. Damaging hotel rooms is passѐ. You must damage a whole hotel. Pick a hotel in Eastern Europe and leave the country before you are caught.

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Music
Joe Ditzel

Itunes Pulls “It Never Rains in Southern California”

Apple Computer’s popular Itunes service has pulled Albert Hammond’s “It Never Rains in Southern California” from the on-line store. Recent thunderstorms throughout the Los Angeles area prompted the action. “At this point in time we felt it best to protect our loyal Southern California customers from this song,” Apple’s Robert Shystberg told a press conference this morning at the Beverly Hilton.

“It is difficult enough to drive on slightly wet pavement, much less listen to this melancholy song that has proven to be inaccurate and does nothing to improve our overall well-being,” L.A. resident Kyle Klopsy told reporters.

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Uncategorized
Joe Ditzel

LocoLoboEvents.com

From the Site:

Locolobo Events- Your World Wide Booking Entertainment Mediator

Unique event entertainment is one of the most crucial aspects of events.

Locolobo Events can book for you the entertainment you want for your Corporate Event, Concert or Private Party. We specialize in all areas of live entertainment, have access to all national acts and can also achieve for your special event, comedians, speakers, sports figures, and specialty entertainers. Full service corporate event planning is another of our specialties. So whether you are looking for big name or local entertainers, LocoLobo Events will help you succeed.

LocoLobo Events service as a corporate entertainment booking agency, is a great way to put you in touch with a variety of many different Artists. We are here to work as your Talent Agent, to be the liason between you and an affordable routable talent or celebrity, and assuring you a successful and rewarding experience.
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Source:
http://www.locoloboevents.com/about.shtml

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Comedy
Joe Ditzel

Desperate But Not Serious

On this lazy 5th of July the 24/7 coverage of Michael Jackson made me wonder about the very early years of the Jacksons in Gary, Indiana. I turned to the experts (cough)- Wikipedia– to get an idea of how they first got discovered.

I thought my dad was strict. Woo, Joseph.

Reading about Michael I came across Alien Ant Farm’s great version of Smooth Criminal (complete with the Anti-Gravity Lean!). Other than the lead singer looking like an older Eddie Munster and the video looking like it was filmed at a backyard wrestling event, I love this cover.

Speaking of ants- another anty hit that is burned on my cerebellum is Adam and the Ants’ “Desperate But Not Serious” (with as many drummers as Earth, Wind and Fire and one guy who looks likes like John Oates) from 1982’s “Friend or Foe” album. With his under-eye makeup Adam always looked like a misguided receiver for the Detroit Lions wearing Sargent Pepper military duds.

Here is what Adam looks more recently. Check out the young guy mistaking classic T-Rex for Oasis. Oy!

Friend or Foe also begat the poppy single “Goody Two Shoes”. Adam and the Ants were better on the 1980 album “Kings of the Wild Frontier”– harder, weirder and punkier. Which makes sense as they were born into the London punk scene- Adam was previously in a band called Bazooka Joe which hosted the first ever performance by the Sex Pistols who opened for them in November 1975.

I digress.

It’s amazing how the Jackson 5 hits hold up so many years later. You cannot fake the Jackson’s talent and infectious performances. They were too good. They could not be denied.

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