Ten bad topical jokes I wrote in 1983
Here are ten bad topical jokes I wrote in 1983:
- Have you guys heard of this new thing called the ‘Internet’? It’s supposed to connect computers worldwide. I tried it, and so far, the only thing I’ve connected with is a busy signal.
- Michael Jackson introduced the moonwalk this year. It’s the only dance move that makes you look like you’re moving forward while actually going backward. Kind of like my dating life.
- The final episode of MASH aired, and over 100 million people watched. The only other time that many Americans sat down at the same time was… Thanksgiving dinner.
- Reagan proposed the ‘Star Wars’ missile defense system. I was excited until I realized it doesn’t come with lightsabers or Wookiees.
- Cabbage Patch Kids are the hottest toy this Christmas. It’s a doll that comes with adoption papers. I got one, and now it’s asking for an allowance and a later curfew.
- McDonald’s introduced the McNugget this year. Finally, a way to eat chicken without having to deal with those pesky bones or, you know, actual chicken.
- The first mobile phones were introduced this year. They’re so big, if you drop one, you might cause an earthquake. On the plus side, you’ll never lose it in the couch cushions.
- Compact Discs or ‘CDs’ are the latest thing in music. They say it’ll replace cassette tapes. I just want to know how I’m supposed to fix a CD with a pencil.
- The show ‘Fraggle Rock’ debuted. It’s about creatures that live underground and steal radishes. Or as we call it in Los Angeles, a typical Saturday night.
- The new fashion trend this year is wearing Swatch watches. Because nothing says ‘I’m stylish’ like wearing a plastic watch that looks like it came out of a cereal box.
