3 Fun Facts About Boxing Day

When I lived in Canada, we observed Boxing Day the day after Christmas. It wasn’t a day for my brothers and I to beat each other up — that was every other day.

No, Boxing Day is a real holiday in the UK, Canada and several other countries.

It Goes Back to Medieval Times

Some experts trace Boxing Day all the way back to medieval times. The “box” part refers to wealthy people giving boxes of gifts to their servant staff the day after Christmas.

Gee, thanks. That’s like letting them watch the Kentucky Derby the next day after everyone has left and the race is over.

Boxing Day Sales Used to be a Thing

Back in the day, we loved Boxing Day because it signaled big savings at post-Christmas sales. Some families even celebrated Christmas by exchanging gifts in the days between Christmas and New Year’s Ever just to save lots of money.

Now, the sales are so good before Christmas, Boxing Day sales are passé.

Which is good. Who wants to celebrate a birthday 5 days later?

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
This gift was on sale
So I bought one for me, too

No Boxing, Fighting or Roundhouse Kicking

I know, I know. Why call it Boxing Day if you aren’t going to throw a few punches?

Sorry, not allowed.

Save up that aggression for next Christmas season. You’ll need it to fight other shoppers on Black Friday to get that 64-inch TV for $100. Especially when you have to gang-tackle a grandma who nabbed the last one.

3 Questions About Christmas Answered

People ask me all the time about Christmas and what really happened. Here are three answers to things they often want to know.

What is Myrrh?

Myrrh is a natural resin or gum. In those days it was used as incense or perfume. These days it is packaged as a sugar-free, breath-cleaning Doublemint gum and is available in major grocery stores, convenient stores and gas stations.

What is Frankincense?

Like myrhh, frankincense is a resin used in perfumes and incense. In biblical times, many people valued it more than gold and silver. It is also a deodorant specifically made for Frankstein monsters. It stops sweat, and helps them dance better to techno music.

Why did the Wise Men not return to Herod after visiting Jesus?

The original story was they were warned in a dream not to go back to Herod. The truth is their Google Maps app directed them to a busy Los Angeles boulevard where they were told to turn left during rush hour at an intersection without a traffic light. They sat there for five days waiting for a gap in traffic and eventually turned right and headed home.

3 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Christmas

Christmas has been around a long time, but you probably didn’t know these interesting Christmas tidbits.

Pilgrims Outlawed Christmas

Some groups of Pilgrims outlawed Christmas. They thought it was a British custom they could do without. That, and they could never get up early enough to beat the crowds on the Black Friday shopping rush.

The Nativity Scene Was First Staged in 1223

St. Francis of Assisi came up with the first nativity scene in 1223. He also created the first professional ice hockey scenes you see displayed in NHL arenas featuring Wayne Gretzky as the Chosen One.

Xmas is Legit

I had a nun that taught us writing “Xmas” is blasphemous because it disrespects Jesus. Yet theologians say it is okay to write Xmas. X is the first Greek letter in the word “Christ,” and X was used in place of Jesus’ name for hundreds of years. It is not known if the apostles called him “X” to his face as in, “Hey X, can you convert some more water into wine. We are running low at this party.”

I Don’t Sing

My doctor and I were talking about Christmas and caroling.

Me: Yeah, someone asked me to go caroling with them.

Her: Oh, really, you are a singer?

Me: No, they just want me to go caroling.

Her: I didn’t know you were a singer.

Me: Me? No. They just want people to go caroling. We used to do that when I was a kid.

Her: You’ve been a singer since you were a kid? Wow!

Me: Yeah, I’m not a singer. Unless you count Frank Sinatra when I’m alone in the car.

Her: We need a singer like you in our church choir.

Me: See, well, I’m not a singer.

Her: I’m glad you sing. People need to sing more.

Me: Right, I don’t sing. I mean…I’m not a singer…at all…except in the car…you know…Frank Sinatra.

Her: You sing in the car to warm up?

Me: Are we done here?

How Far Should I Run To Work Off The Holiday Calories I Consumed?

With the new year looming, you may be considering starting a new running program to work off the food you ate over the holidays.

How far you should run depends on how much and what you consumed in November and December. Here is a quick guide:

If you ate:
32 cookies
15 pieces of fudge
25 potato latkes
Run 1/2 mile per day.

If you ate:
56 cookies
25 pieces of fudge
33 potato latkes
17 sausage rolls
Run 3/4 mile per day.

If you ate:
65 cookies
30 pieces of fudge
37 potato latkes
22 sausage rolls
12 mince pies
Run 1 mile per day.

If you ate:
75 cookies
35 pieces of fudge
43 potato latkes
37 sausage rolls
15 mince pies
21 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
Run 1.5 miles per day.

If you ate:
100 cookies
43 pieces of fudge
47 potato latkes
40 sausage rolls
17 mince pies
24 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
15 deep-fried chocolate cupcakes
Run 3 miles per day

If you ate:
124 cookies
47 pieces of fudge
54 potato latkes
43 sausage rolls
21 mince pies
25 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
19 deep-fried chocolate cupcakes
Run 5 miles per day

If you ate:
11,503 cookies
7,755 pieces of fudge
8,456 potato latkes
27,987 sausage rolls
5,278 mince pies
33,785 peanut butter jelly doughnuts
44,525 deep fried chocolate cupcakes
175,000 candy canes
300,000 gallons of egg nog
Please do not run. Call the fire department to cut a hole in the side of your house so they can lift you out with a crane and take you to the emergency room.

3 Fun Facts About Christmas

We celebrate Christmas on December 25th, but historians are not really sure of the exact birthdate of Jesus. How would you like it if they weren’t sure about your real birthday? “Hey Jim, how are old are you now…give or take a few weeks?

The Christmas story tells us that three kings or wise men set off to visit the manger where Jesus was born. Do you think that was on their business card? “See, it says right there – King, Wise Man. I also do a little real estate sales on the side. You should buy now. The housing market is only getting tighter.”

The toughest part of Christmas is going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve…After eating tons of food. Nighty night. “ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.”