“Die Hard” meets “Home Alone”: A new Christmas classic called “Don’t Die Alone

I’m pitching Hollywood on a new Christmas movie classic — a combination of “Die Hard” and “Home Alone” tentatively called “Don’t Die Alone.” I’m not quite sure yet how this will work but here is a rough idea:

INT. LUXURIOUS PENTHOUSE – NIGHT

The penthouse is extravagantly decorated for Christmas. A large Christmas tree twinkles in the corner. Outside, the city skyline glows. The room is empty except for 12-YEAR-OLD MADDIE, resourceful and spunky, hiding behind a sofa.

CUT TO:

EXT. PENTHOUSE ENTRANCE – SAME TIME

A group of sophisticated thieves, led by the charismatic and ruthless HANS GRUBER JR., are cutting through the penthouse’s security system.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. PENTHOUSE – CONTINUOUS

Maddie peeks from her hiding spot, clutching a walkie-talkie. She whispers into it.

MADDIE
(whispering)
Come in, McClane. They’re here.

CUT TO:

INT. AIR DUCT – SAME TIME

JOHN McCLANE, grizzled and tough, crawls through the air duct, walkie-talkie in hand.

McCLANE
(whispering)
Copy that, kiddo. Remember the plan?

MADDIE
(whispering)
Yeah. Home Alone meets Die Hard.

McCLANE
(whispering)
That’s my girl. Let’s teach these guys a lesson in holiday spirit.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. PENTHOUSE – CONTINUOUS

Maddie nods to herself, then springs into action. She dashes across the room, setting up a series of elaborate traps: marbles on the floor, a bucket of paint above a door, and a homemade catapult.

CUT TO:

EXT. PENTHOUSE ENTRANCE – MOMENTS LATER

The thieves break in. Hans Gruber Jr. smirks confidently.

HANS GRUBER JR.
Time to claim our Christmas present.

They step forward, immediately slipping on the marbles. Chaos ensues as they try to regain their footing.

CUT TO:

INT. PENTHOUSE – CONTINUOUS

Maddie watches, a triumphant grin on her face. Suddenly, she hears more thieves approaching from another entrance. She ducks behind a curtain.

CUT TO:

INT. AIR DUCT – SAME TIME

McClane crawls towards an exit point, ready to join the fray.

McCLANE
(to himself)
Yippee-ki-yay, merry gentlemen.

CUT BACK TO:

INT. PENTHOUSE – CONTINUOUS

As the second group of thieves enters, they’re hit by the bucket of paint. Maddie darts out, launching a toy car with her catapult, hitting one of the thieves.

THIEF
Ouch! What the…?

Maddie giggles, but then her face falls as she sees Hans Gruber Jr. approaching, unscathed.

HANS GRUBER JR.
Clever girl. But not clever enough.

Just as he’s about to grab Maddie, McClane drops from an air duct behind him, knocking him out cold.

McCLANE
Nobody messes with Christmas.

Maddie runs to McClane, high-fiving him.

MADDIE
That was awesome!

McCLANE
You were pretty awesome yourself, partner.

They exchange a look of mutual respect and understanding.

MADDIE
Now, let’s wrap up the rest of these Grinches.

McClane smiles, ready for more action.

McCLANE
After you, kiddo.

They move off together, ready to take down the remaining thieves.

FADE OUT.