Travel and Places

Are These UFOs over Newark, Ohio Returning From a Previous Visit?

In August of 2015, YouTube user Punky Doodle filmed this UFO over her hometown of Newark, Ohio.

I have no doubt that these lights in the sky are UFOs. My question is: why Newark? Why not one hundred other small towns in Ohio–like Zanesville, Lodi or Medina?

Come on, alien people! Ohio has more than 10 million people! And a bunch of them live in small towns just as charming as Newark. Why not them?

Maybe you like the fact that Newark is the county seat of Licking County, so you think maybe these are leaders that you can communicate with should you decide to come down to (or back down to) Earth. Probably you think Columbus would be the natural choice for that, but a smaller town wouldn’t raise as much doubt and fear. Good thinking.

Maybe you are impressed with the Newark Earthworks, ancient burial mounds in and around the area. Heck, maybe YOU created the Newark Earthworks and are coming around to check on them.

And no wonder. They are amazing. Much bigger than people think before their first visit. The Great Pyramid of Giza would fit in one of the mound circles. And if you did create them, what are under the mounds? Is it a burial ground? Perhaps you have a weapons and money stash from your own planet stored there for when you all come back down here to take over?

Or did you create these mounds as some sort of homing beacon? Maybe you visited Newark in the 40s and had some great bacon and eggs an a local diner, and the mounds are a marker so you don’t forget where that great restaurant is located.

Whatever it is, Punky Doodle on the case, ready to record your whereabouts.

Joe Ditzel

Joe Ditzel is a keynote speaker, humor writer, and really bad golfer. You can reach him via email at [email protected] as well as Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.