Joe Ditzel

Many people state that they've always wanted to learn a foreign language. Perhaps they've taken classes in high school and want pick up where they left off. Or maybe they purchased some CD's to listen to in the car. Here is a way to become completely fluent in a foreign language in 24 hours.

1. Most people learn their own language as an infant and small child. In those days all they heard was "get down from there", "get that out of your mouth", "don't put that in Daddy's ear while he's sleeping" and so on. Your first task is to hire a native speaker in the language you want to learn.

2. Tell the native speaker to follow you around all day and yell at you like they would at an infant, but always in the native language.

3. Your brain will revert to when you were a year old.

4. Within hours you will begin to say words in the native language but like a little kid (or large baby). For example, you might point at the cat and say "dog." This is to be expected in this type of training.

5. The yelling should continue through the day. Within 24 hours you will start to form complete sentences in your new language like "I made a woopsie" and "I set the cat on fire."

By the end of the week you should be speaking at a 7th grade level in your new language. This is two levels higher than most people speak in their native English.