Loria Claims $140+ Million Loss on Billion Dollar Sale of Marlins

Former Florida Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria previously agreed if the team was sold within ten years of his purchase of the team in 2008, the city of Miami and Miami/Dade county would receive five percent of the profits. Derek Jeter bought the team within that time frame, so the city and county get their cut, right?

Uh, no.

Loria’s attorneys say there was no profit on the $1.2 billion sale of the team.

Exsqueeze me?

They say they actually lost over $140 million due to underlying debt, deductions and taxes tied to the deal.

Right.

For example, he claimed a $30 million deduction for advisers who helped structure the sale. Other deductions he is rumored to have claimed include:

—$10,000 bath towels with the team logo on them.

—$19,000,000 in Florida lottery tickets, saying he had a better chance of hitting lotto than a Marlins win.

—$4,000,000 to build accommodations for the 1,000 paparazzi following Jeter around every day.

—$10,000,000 to consultants who proposed a merger with the Cleveland Browns (yes, the Browns) and moving the combined team to London, England.

—$25,000,000 for construction of a 15-level skybox for his personal use. Locals say he likes to sit on the top level and drops eggs on fans below.

Those are just rumors, so I don’t know. But come on.

3 More Fun Facts About the Cleveland Indians

The Indians ball club first played in 1894 in Grand Rapids, Michigan as the Grand Rapids Rustlers. They moved to to Cleveland in 1900 and changed their name to the Cleveland Lake Shores. This name didn’t go over big with some local fans. One fan said, “Sure, Lake Shores. Why not? Very threatening. Ooh, I’m shaking in my boots. If we are going geographically-wise, why not call them the creek beds, or the river banks, yeah, the Cleveland Cuyahoga River River Banks. No? Of course not.”

Some newspapers called the Grand Rapids Rustlers the Rippers. One of their opponents was the Kansas City Blues, known by some papers as the Kansas City Cowboys. Did newspapers in the late 1800s and early 1900s make up names for teams willy nilly? A reporter from that era said, “Heck yeah, we tried to make up as crazy names as possible. Before they were called the Yankees, I always called them the Overpaids, and I called Boston the Beans, and referred to Philadelphia’s team as the Waiting Room before Retirements.”

The Indians were one of the first charter franchises of the American League in 1901. The other teams were the Baltimore Orioles, Chicago White Stockings, Detroit Tigers, Washington Senators, Milwaukee Brewers, Philadelphia Athletics and the Boston Americans. A league official said they looked at and rejected a bid from Akron, Ohio. A league official told the newspapers, “We had to reject Akron because they wanted to put bowling lanes for the fans at each level of their stadium. They guaranteed a sellout every home game, but the noise of the balls and the pins would have been too distracting.”

3 More Things You Should Know About the Chicago Cubs

The Cubs play at Wrigley Field which opened in 1914. It was then known as Wheeghman’s Park and was home of the Chicago Whales of the Federal League. They folded in 1915, and the Cubs debuted there the following year. Wrigley is the oldest ballpark in the National League. It was called Cubs park from 1920 through 1926.

“We called the team the Cubs because a family of black bears was living in our dugout at the time. The cubs used to come out on the field during practice. One got real good at throwing to first, so we looked at him as a possible shortstop, but his hitting was terrible.”

The Cubs were originally called the Whitestockings when they started play in 1870. They they became the Colts in 1889, they they were called the Orphans and Remnants for awhile and became the Cubs in 1903. Then a new team came to town, and they took the old name of the Cubs, the Chicago Whitestocking, later shorted to the Chicago White Sox.

“They got a lot of flak for that because people wanted them to use an original name. But the only original names they could come up with were the Chicago Dead People Voting, the Chicago Cattle Cars, and the Chicago Pork Barrel Politics,” said a baseball historian.

The Cubs have long been known as the “North Siders” as opposed to the White Sox who are called the “South Siders.”

A Cubs fan explaned it as “The North Side is where real baseball is played. The White Sox are in the American League, which is fantasy baseball. Like the Designated Hitter. A hitter who never takes the field. That’s like somebody getting elected to Congress, one of the highest offices in the land, and then not doing any work. Wait a minute….”

3 Crazy Fun Facts About the Toronto Blue Jays

The Toronto Blue Jays are currently atop the American League Eastern Division. Here are 3 crazy fun facts about the “Jays.”

The Blue Jays were founded in 1977. So much was going on that year. Elvis Costello released his first record, “Less Than Zero.”

One local wag told me, “Yes, and that’s the exact number of wins the Blue Jays got that first year.”

The Blue Jays play at the Rogers Centre, originally called the SkyDome. It was built after the 1982 Grey Cup, the Canadian Football League Championship game, was played in a driving rainstorm, to this day known as the Rain Bowl.

A local man remembered: “I was there. It rained right in my damn beer. I was drinking 50 percent Labatt’s and 50 percent rainwater.”

The Blue Jays are the only team based outside of the US.

An MLB league official explains: “Well, we want more Canadian cities to join Major League Baseball, but the support isn’t always there. Heck, in Calgary, they’d rather watch stagecoach races. What’s that all about?”

3 Fun Facts About the Cleveland Indians

The Cleveland Indians were formed in 1901. That was an interesting year. That year Pope Leo XIII published an official church document called Graves De Communi Re which said golfers could no longer use the Lord’s name in vain…after missing a 2-foot putt.

The Indians took on that name in 1914. Just before that, they were called the Cleveland Naps, named after player Napoleon “Nap” Lajoie. They almost changed the Indians name back to Naps in the mid 1980s, because the whole team seemed to be asleep at the wheel.

Anncr: “It’s a long fly ball”

Outfielder: “Zzzzzzzzzz….”

Anncr: “It’s going, going…”

Outfielder: “Zzzzzzzzzz….”

Anncr: “Oh! Off the fence and bounces into center field.”

Outfielder: “Zzzzzzzzzz….”

The Indians conduct spring training in Goodyear, Arizona. Yes, it is a town named after a tire company. An Indians spokesperson explained: “Yes, we also looked at Perelli, Texas; Michelin, Florida; and Bridgestone, California. We went with Goodyear because they made us some special baseball caps made out of a small tire. Small snow tires. It’s an all weather baseball cap.”

Spring Hats Of Major League Baseball Superstars

The biggest names in baseball all have one thing in common for Spring 2015: Cool headgear. Here are the styles you can expect to see around the ballpark and out on the town from MLB superstars.

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Matt Halladay loves the softness of this model.

 

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Jake Arrieta has been spotted with this design.

 

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Jose Altuve is a fan of this one.

 

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Jason Kipnis likes the old-school style of this Fedora.

 

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Lorenzo Cain like the feel of this felt number.

 

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Gerrit Cole has commissioned a version of this hat with his player number on the front.

 

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Michael Pineda like to tour around town in this style.

 

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Mike Trout likes to thrown this hat in his duffel when on the road.

 

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Felix Hernandez cuts a proper figure in this style.

 

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Paul Goldschmidt – Flat Brim, Major League.

 

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Miguel Cabrera likes the Western flavor of this one.

 

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Matt Harvey of the Mets is in a New York state of mind.

 

Before They Were Famous: Lady Gaga Plays Baseball

Before Lady Gaga was famous, she briefly considered a baseball career. Music was getting on her nerves after years of practice and dedication.

 

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“Daddy, I want to play baseball!” Gaga said one day. “I’m tired of music.”

 

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“No, Gaga, it’s not right for you. You are an artist, not a sports lady!”

 

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But Gaga insisted. One day she came home with a bat, ball and glove.” Teach me baseball, Daddy!” she said.

 

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“OK, if it will get it out of your system. Here comes the pitch!”

 

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“You missed it, Gaga!”

 

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Eventually she got better and joined the team. Uh oh, it’s her first time at bat!

 

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Boom! All that work with Pops paid off!

 

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Look at Dad cheering! Too bad he was right all along. She only played the rest of the year and then concentrated on her music. If only she had stayed in baseball.

 

 

 

 

Images via Prelinger Archives at Archive.org

3 Somewhat True Facts About The Houston Astros

The Astros were founded in 1962 as the Colt 45s. Runner up names included the Houston Winchester Rifles, the Houston Smith and Wesson 57s and the “Houston Air Rifles you used for shooting squirrels in 8th grade,” but that didn’t fit on the jerseys.

Prior to the Colt 45s, Houston had a pro ball club called the Houston Buffaloes from 1888 to 1961. In 1934, they considered changing their name to the Hairy Buffaloes.

The Astros battled the Chicago White Sox in the World Series in 2005. Although they lost, their fathers said they were proud because they did their best, and then took them to McDonald’s for hamburgers and milkshakes.

Fun Facts About The Kansas City Royals

The name Royals comes from a rodeo and livestock show.

The Royals were founded in 1969. Also that year, another royal, Prince Charles, appeared on the cover of Time magazine, which asked, “Is Prince Charles necessary?” Maybe not in England, but if he batted .360, he would have found a home on the Royals.

Between 1976 and 1985, the Royals made the playoffs 7 times, won the World Series in 1985 and made George Brett a household name. Brett once said that he could have played another year, but that he would have meant he was only playing for the money and baseball deserves better than that. This is comparison to the quote “I would play another year for the money. Screw baseball,” attributed to just about any player playing today.

The Royals build the team largely on the strength of a quality farm system, in this case an actual working farm where players milk cows and plant crops. The owners believe these activities help them develop more strength and hand-eye coordination. “Once you take a shot of cow’s milk from an udder into your eye, you learn coordination quickly,” said one of the hitting coaches.

Between 1976 and 1985, the Royals made the playoffs seven times, won the World Series in 1985 and made George Brett a household name. Brett once said that he could have played another year, but that he would have meant he was only playing for the money and baseball deserves better than that. This is comparison to the quote “I would play another year for the money. Screw baseball,” attributed to just about any player playing today.

The Royals won the 1985 World Series in seven games after winning the American League Championship in seven games, both times after being behind three games to one. The team was so tired after these lengthy series, manager Dick Howser was quoted as saying they were glad to play the St. Louis Cardinals in the World Series mainly because they didn’t have to travel that far.

Things You Should Know About the Toronto Blue Jays

The Toronto Blue Jays team name comes from the bird named Blue Jay, and follows the pattern of blue in the colors of the other teams in town – the Argonauts and the Maple Leafs. The Maple Leafs were the first team to use blue–it was the color of their fans shortly after they left games and walked out into the middle of a Canadian Winter.

The team was founded in 1977. Other great things started that year include Apple Computer and the TV show Roots. The worst thing from that year was a horrible movie called Airport 77 which apparently involved stolen artwork, sleeping gas and the Bermuda Triangle. Or something.

The team has not made the playoffs since 1993, but they don’t suck either. You’ll have a good time at the game. Just go to 100 level, hit the Tim Horton’s and load up on doughnuts. If you don’t know what Tim Horton’s is, ask your Canadian friends. In Canada, Tim Horton’s is a nationally legalized drug there.

Three Things You Should Know About the Detroit Tigers

In their very first game as a professional team, the Tigers were behind at the top of the ninth inning 13-4 in their home Bennett Park against the Milwaukee Brewers. They came back to win 14-13. There wasn’t another comeback like that in Detroit until the Ford brought back the 5.0 Mustang GT.

They tied the Cubs 3-3 in the first game of the 1907 World series when the game was called after 12 innings due to darkness. One plan they briefly considered but discarded was lighting the field with Ty Cobb’s ego.

In 1934, the Tigers lost the World Series in game 7 to the St. Louis Cardinals, nicknamed the Gashouse Gang due to their unique strategy of each batter farting on the opposing catcher.

Slightly Crazy People in San Francisco – Mr. “Die-Hard Giants Fan Party Man”

This guy loves the Giants so much, he arrives one day before the game to get his pre-game on. Traversing the city, he hits the biggest sports bars and restaurants to pound shots and drink multiple beers. He can be heard spouting statistics about the Giants from the late 1890s, throwing out obscure team stats and players.

Most of his friends have learned to give him more room as the night goes on, because he will get louder and more confrontational with fans from out of town teams. One time he took on five Chicago Cub fans after they said the Giants would be nothing without “juicing.”

Covered in bandages, he still managed to get in a fight with another patient in the main room where everyone was watching the game at the hospital.