Trump Names Cheech and Chong Federal Marijuana Co-Czars

President Trump has named Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong, who rose to fame in the 1970s as comedy duo Cheech and Chong, co-czars of the new Federal Marijuana Commission. The pair will work together to find new ways to speed up the legalization of marijuana at the federal level.

“Marijuana is the next big cash crop,” said Trump, “and people were saying, lots of people are saying it, lots of people agree, that Cheech and Chong are a natural for spearheading the federal government’s involvement in the industry. I was too old to really understand their humor when they became famous, that was really for people younger than me at the time, but I know lots of people, many people, tell me they are experts in this field, and are loved by much of the population. And when I met them, I can tell you, they are great guys, really great guys,”

Tommy Chong, who spent time in federal prison despite not having a previous record, for selling bongs over the internet a few years ago,  a product so common anybody can buy them anywhere in the country by walking toward the section of town that spells like marijuana smoke, laughed at his appointment. “This shows how dumb my bust was, and how the US is finally waking up. Or waking and baking, however you want to say it.”