Joe Ditzel Has Some Problems 11 – Book

The heart-shaped island of love and death
When grocery stores say they have the lowest prices in town
Those are shorts, that’s a thong
7 ways Texans are beating the heat
How did a Spanish ship out to remap the Mediterranean get lost?
Answer my question, communist! Is it okay to put ketchup on hot dogs??!!
Mark Zuckerberg is on a “campaign for cool”
Removing slow drivers with a well-time pit maneuver
Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert battle over Joe Biden
Ethan, your mother is calling!
This guy steals elections for a living
New York City “rat czar” ready to fight rats at any cost
“Donny and Georgie”: The Donald Trump and Boy George musical that could not be denied
How much have you stolen this year?
Marjorie Taylor Green and Lauren Boebert battle for the Queen of MAGA crown
Be careful getting naked after a sauna
Former pro baseball player banned from further sperm donations
Security tackles golfer on the 18th green after victory
Kari Lake sues again
What does “woke” mean?
David Dobbins races to work
I really like you!
That time I became a cyborg
OK, but what is a rutabaga?
She knows what she wants
I’m boycotting these companies
How does a trainload carrying several tons of explosive chemicals disappear into thin air?
Firefight at Castillo de San Marcos
“Get back!” I yelled at the killer whale. He just laughed.
Oh yeah? Well, I’m never coming back! How about that!
This car sounds like gorillas are making love on an old bed spring
Feathered frenzy: Running from the avian horde
It turned out my wife was doing some recreation of her own
Hawk attacks drone who insulted his mother
When the spices were way hotter than you thought but you are trying to play it cool
Hazel dumped me at our renaissance faire battle reenactment when I told her I couldn’t lift my sword
Olympic Champion Sarah Hughes is running for Congress
This is the point most relationships start to go wrong
I asked Google’s Bard to write a joke about Elon Musk naming a new Twitter CEO
Elon Musk names new Twitter CEO
Do you know how to pronounce “Solzhenitsyn?”
Is it something I said?
Playing ping pong at MTV studios with Martha Quinn
Bono and me backstage at a U2 concert at the old Cleveland Stadium in 1989.
Me beating myself up after missing a 3-foot putt
You better be home by the time the street lights come on
Charlotte ghosted me when I told her my interior decorating style was “Cleveland Bowling Alley”
That year Jesus played for the Chicago Black Hawks
The Dungeons and Dragons movie is demonic
Pour a 40 ounce of vitamins on the ground
In ten seconds I will take out your entire gang
Simone broke up with me when I told her the only swimming I can do is the dog paddle
We don’t care about your dang golf gods
Just remember where you came from
When your parents ground you for missing curfew
Alabama dumped me when I admitted I used to be the lead singer in a German thrash metal country music band
When you snuck out to McDonald’s for lunch in high school
What do you mean I’m in YOUR yard?
Dad, they are going EVERYWHERE!
That day I took on the Frapp beast
That wasn’t the question
Gianna dumped me when I told her I won the International Bow Tie Tying Championship 5 years in a row
Disney World plans to move to an island off the coast of Florida
But I can’t get a gas truck on the 405?
When you are out jogging and a dog chases you for blocks
Every other attendee at the NRA Convention
My anxiety closing in when I ask out a woman way out of my league
There only ace on a par 4 in PGA history
A poem about golf by ee cummings lite
Florida to take over ride inspections at all theme parks
How to hit your golf drive 750 yards
Yoga is a portal to demonic possession
Congrats to the future of golf, Jon Rahm Rodriquez, for winning the 2023 Masters
Sure, doc, but can you look at the hole in my head?
Hang in there, I think they are close
Teenage cropduster pilot accidentally sprays State Fair midway crowd
Roombas gone wild proves flat earth theory
Disney introduces new “DeSantis Fee” added to all Disney goods and services sold in Florida
What, you don’t like bowling to classic rock?
The roar of the crowd
You only think about yourself
Turn it up, let’s go!
My new sitcom debuts this fall
Hey honey, what was the name of the god of pizza?
Here’s how to win the US Open for everyday Joes
Appalling and confusing
This is why the words you use matter
Be real, Hailey and Selena are besties
And I get three daily chauffeured trips for pup cups
He punched me as I closed in
Oh, and it wouldn’t hurt to start a new dynasty
How I think I look on the golf course
Lousy cook beats back hooligan horde with baked potato grenades
I think Scarlett is in on it
Senate Bill 235 in Montana would eliminate teaching established science like evolution and gravity
How to make it sizzle and smoke
The Ballad of Chicago Joe
Amelia dumped me when she found out I used to sing “Rhinestone Cowboy” every night in the New York subway
Bring those red-striped shirts out here first, son
Make sure you get extras in case there is an encore
So that is how we are playing it?
At the grocery store in the early days of Covid
That time I got my head stuck in a beer bucket
Why my strawberries rolled on the floor
Hey, bro, are you feeling lightheaded?
I said drive a while, not pull a bank job
Don’t worry Flat Earth Santa, I got you
The day I died at a combat juggling match
Scientists have revived an ancient “zombie virus”
God vs. Sea Monster
Say hello to the newest NFL team – the Open Sea Cruise!
How long-drive champ Martin Borgmeier helped me get my first hole in one
7 signs you are on a bad cruise
Is your favorite fast food restaurant drive-thru too slow?
I just want peace and a piece of pie
Clay, give me that shovel, I gotta big un over heer
Do this to your roof to make it last forever
Is Amazon announcing 15-second delivery?
Was this legal back in the day?
Hockey players fight because they can
Fade to pale
Stoic farmer plowing the field wonders what is on TV tonight
Florida bill give DeSantis appointees wide power over state schools
So you are telling me you love golf and can cook a perfect bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin?
OK, how about some Red Label then?
Illinois voters will take a busted, rusty soda machine over Trump in 2024
Anglo-Saxon English tells us the earth is flat
Saskatchewan proves the earth is flat
Car rental company arrests customers for “stealing” cars
Just remember. Canada has its eye on you.
Woman loading a washing machine
Meteorologist is the first woman to send official storm warning at elite weather center
Play “Hot Stuff” next, DJ!
Man riding the El to downtown Chicago forgets to get off at his stop
UFOs appear over Cincinnati
He doesn’t seem too happy about this
Icy proof the world is flat
Man saves a wolf just to have a good story to tell at the singles bar
“The 300” at the driving range
Biden sends Mickey Mouse spy balloons over China
10 women who dumped me on Valentine’s day
Jordan, do you want a cheeseburger?
Bing’s new AI is very impressive
The top three languages in the world
You call that a balloon?
NFL denies request from China
Women meet to discuss how to make husbands miserable
That feeling when you realize your friend has no idea where you are going
But it’s better than office work you can’t deny
When your waiter works at Cirque de Soleil
Grab your musket, Johann, it’s on!
When you wear a life preserver 24/7
Watermelon sugar hello: Famous birthdays for 02-01
Do you have an Android made from a skull?
Whatever happened to TOP SECRET?
New AI scam sweeping the country
It’s a modern family: Famous birthdays for 01-28.
Birthday confidential: Famous birthdays for 01-27
Streaking through the halls wearing nothing but a motorcyle helmet
She dumped when she found out I did this with melons
Here’s how to win a free trip to New Zealand
Don’t stop believing in birthdays: Famous birthdays for 01-22
There’s no crying during birthdays: Famous birthdays for 01-21.
Always the Padawan: Famous birthdays for 01-20
That feeling when the hot water runs out in the middle of the shower
Elon Musk announces new 3D food “printer”
Hey, Astro, get out there and shovel the sidewalk
Dancing with wolves in sheep’s clothing: Famous birthdays for 01-18
Luke, am I your father?: Famous birthdays for 01-17
Not throwing away your shot: Famous birthdays for 01-16
New presidential Top Secret document retrieval and storage service debuts
An apology from Cousin Coffey from Chillicothe
We’re going worldwide: Famous birthdays for 01-15
A named confession
Crazy Houses: The car tire house
Unapologetically trucker hot
Times like these: Famous birthdays for 01-14
President taps Pee Wee Herman to lead new Bicycle Army Corps
Get Out!: Famous birthdays for 01-13
BREAKING: George Santos leads a SpaceX team as they make the first human landing on Mars.
Honey, I think the dog has too many minerals in his diet.
That feeling when they cut to another game when your team is about to score the winning touchdown
Let me start this paper, yo, anddddd, it’s done
Socrates holds up the line at Starbucks
The mastiff who slid on his belly
Chicago Bears hire Abraham Lincoln to turn around flailing program
He’s in the prime of life: Famous birthdays for 01-12
Mom, I got cut!…I’m sorry, son. Cluck-cluuuuuckkkk!
A hero and a scholar: Famous Birthdays for 01-11
The amazing chemical that changes lives
Professor says laughter is dead
Elon Musk says no remote work is allowed.
Stand back, Lorena!
You wear it well: Famous Birthdays for 01-10
When the lady at table 17 sends her food back for the third time
Winner! Winner! That’s all I get?
Cash Cab Sopranos
Stairway to heavenly birthdays: Famous birthdays for 01-09
Fist fights in the Congress
She dumped me because I’ve never seen “Team America: World Police”
Thank you, thank you very much: Famous birthdays for 01-08
The last selfie of Leonidas
That feeling when you over shoot the exit ramp
Uh, can you explain this giant hole in the roof?
Numbers and spreadsheets, they rule
Nine-year-old Phil Mickelson at the controls of a Learjet 55 “Longhorn” he won in the 1979 Dubai Junior Classic
Nighty-night, see you tomorrow – all 9,000 of you
Watch out for rakes, Bob, can be painful
Losing my religion: Famous birthdays for 01-04
Paul The Apostle? Who?
Cuba Gooding, Jr. wins $1 trillion Powerball
Show me the money: Famous birthdays for 01-02